Okay, so I actually 100% hate uncertainty. It is probably one of my least favorite things ever, and this stupid pandemic is full of uncertainty. We don’t know exactly when it’s going to end. We don’t know exactly how it’s spread. We don’t know exactly how long it incubates. We don’t know anything! It sucks!
I was also sick for the past week with what I thought was motion sickness/migraine, but in fact turned out to be a stomach bug. How do I know it was a stomach bug? Because on Friday–the day I finally felt better–my daughter got sick and threw up. She thought at first that it may have been something she ate, but when we chronicled her eating, we both realized it was stuff she’d been eating just fine with no problems before and had a low probability of getting her sick. And then I pointed out that I had been on the verge of throwing up the entire week, just miserable. While I was miserable for a week, she thankfully just had a 24-hour thing.
Guess what, though? COVID-19 is presenting in some people as GI issues.
So does that mean we had the rona? I don’t know! Neither of us qualify for testing in our state because we didn’t have a fever or cough or respiratory issues. It could just be some random stomach bug that is ALSO going around at the same time because it’s not like COVID-19 is the only game in town right now. It’s just the one causing the complete disruption in all of our lifestyles.
So. Where does that leave me? Doing my best, again. Taking care of myself and my family the best I can, again. Letting go of perfectionism, again. And, more importantly, letting go of everything I think I know about everything I think I know. I can only do what I can with the information I have. I can only focus on what I know right now in this present moment. I can keep connected to the people I love and I can go for a walk and I can meditate and I can breathe.
And I can just know that uncertainty is a part of the process of this pandemic, and, like it or not, I’m going to just have to accept it.
For this year’s A to Z Challenge, I have decided that I’m going to focus on my survival/coping strategies while practicing social distancing. What are the things that make it bearable? What helps alleviate my stress and fear–or at least what distracts me from both? Tune in tomorrow to see what I choose for V!
The Englishist 
I really didn’t feel the uncertainty part much until this week. Summer vacation has begun and the daily madness has slowed a bit. Now, I’m beginning to feel all the things I was too busy to feel almost two months ago. Ugh!
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Oh, see, I’m just now at the end of my semester, and I’m teaching this summer so no true slowdown for me (though it will get MUCH easier). The uncertainty also lifted a bit because my institution said we’re going to be online in the fall. Without that, I think I would still be spinning out quite a bit.
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