The Topomax reign of terror has ended and, thus, so has my depression.
I knew I was feeling better when the person at the store asked how I was doing, and I said, “Good” and meant it.
It’s the little things.
Whew, there is a lot to cover from the past two weeks, so let’s just dive in.
1. First of all, my brilliant daughter got accepted to not one, but two study abroad programs: one for the summer and one for next school year. The summer one is at a Buddhist monastery in China and completely funded through scholarships. The second is at a university in Japan, so she has started a GoFundMe to help cover the costs. Please click over, read her story, donate if you’re so moved, and/or share her page with others. Everything helps!
My daughter is also posting all of her pre-study abroad prep on Instagram and plans to keep it up while she’s abroad, so if you’re interested in that, please follow her there (@starless_knight39) as well. At some point, she’s going to start a vlog about all her adventures as well. I mean, the girl is on the move and living all of her dreams. I’m so proud of her.
As part of the IBS Audio 100 program that I’m doing, the author asks that you rate your symptoms before starting, at the 27-day mark, and then again at the 100-day mark. After I completed the first 27 days, I decided that I should probably actually track my symptoms every day since I was mostly going by how I felt that week (which was fine), but I didn’t really have an overall sense of what I was feeling. There are a couple of apps specifically for IBS, but the one I chose is Cara because it’s pretty comprehensive.
Right, so, I have been tracking my symptoms and food for 38 days now, and here’s what I have discovered:
The last one wasn’t that big of a surprise since that’s why I’m using the app in the first place. No, the big surprises for me were the first two. First of all, how am I stressed out EVERY DAY even right now when I’m on vacation? Second, I thought my headaches were under better control than that.
Wow, so much happened in the past week that I don’t know where to begin.
1. The big thing is that the semester ended! I gave final exams, I graded graded graded and then graded some more.
My friend sent me the end of semester bingo card from social media, and I asked her if every square could be “Grading until you cry” and “more grading.” Because that was my main mood.
Oh, and also this:
MON. Dec. 10 – A Day (or Weekend) in the Life. What did you do on Saturday, December 8th … or that weekend – December 8-9. Let’s take a peek into each others lives as as we chronicle what we all did on that day (or during the weekend).
It’ll be weekend for me!
3:30 a.m. – Wake up because I fell asleep at 6:45 p.m. after getting home from the gym. Eat food, futz around online (which includes trying to figure out why a book I know I rated on Goodreads doesn’t have a rating and why another book is showing up as having been read twice when I only read it once).
4:31 a.m. – Heat up some tea, read a little bit
5 a.m. – Have a lie down so I can get up at a reasonable hour and face the actual day
7:22 a.m. – Wake up for realsies, meditate, fool around on Facebook
8 a.m. – Get out of bed, shower, eat, etc.
9:45 a.m. – Head to my support group, run errands, eat some food, futz around online (this will happen a lot)
2 p.m. – Grade papers
2:10 p.m. – Slight grading crisis, phone a friend
It’s time for #AMonthofFaves! YAY! Many thanks to Tanya Patrice, Kim, Andi, and Tamara for hosting yet again.
#AMonthofFaves [The 2018 Favorites Edition]– e.g. to eat, drink, wear, smell, see, do, enjoy, best purchases, most used gift received, most used purchases, favorite concert, outdoor activity, place visited, most squee worthy moment of the year.
So, it’s been several months since I’ve done this (JUNE???), so let’s see if I remember how.
Okay, so I mentioned previously that work had been stressful for most of October (hahaha understatement), so I spent most of November recovering from that and realizing that, once again, I was a mess. I had gained weight again, I had new/worsening symptoms for my IBS, and I (re)discovered just how much debt I’m in. (And the latter two happened at the end of the month.)
Anyway, I was lamenting to my mom about my weight gain and how I don’t understand how it keeps happening because I know I need to manage my weight better to help control my IBS, and I know what to do, and I know how to do it, yet I am always surprised that when I don’t track my food or I make it to the gym less often, I gain weight and then have to start all over again. I mean, you honestly would think I have learned by now.
And my mom said simply, “Because it’s not your default to take care of yourself in that way.”
I was, as the young people say, shook.
`I was going to try to write a separate IMWAYR (It’s Monday! What are you reading?) and Slice of Life Tuesday post, but then I realized I haven’t worked on my NaNoWriMo project in a week and also the thought of opening the editor to post again wore me out, so I’m just back to my once a week post instead. It’s probably better for everyone this way.
At any rate, for the past few days, I kept considering canceling my Thanksgiving Day plans so that I could sit on the couch and feel sorry for myself, so I should have known I was about to have/in the middle of a flare up. It has been pretty bad in that it’s not more terrible than usual but in that I had some symptoms I hadn’t had before, which left me feeling pretty awful last night–bad enough that I went to the doctor today. Turns out it’s probably gastritis. So I am treating that (or will be once my prescription is filled), and, if it doesn’t clear up within a week, I get to make an appointment with the gastroenterologist.
While I was dealing with all of that today, I also got tickets to a taping of The Price Is Right in December, so, you know, that’s one way to turn your day around.
I miss wearing jeans and t-shirts. And just jeans in general. One of the (many) byproducts of my stomach issues is that it’s not usually comfortable for me to wear jeans because my stomach might poke out or just the feel of clothing on my stomach will bother me.
So one day I was thinking that what I need is the equivalent of maternity jeans but for non-pregnant people. But then I looked at some maternity jeans and those stretched bellies with fabric on top was not at all what I wanted.
This was a terrible weekend for me re: food. I almost had a meltdown twice–once on Saturday in the grocery story and then again on Sunday when I was just doing stuff around my house. I think what happened is that I finally realized that my elimination diet was not a temporary thing as I thought it would be and is pretty much it for me from now on. As I have mentioned before, there was only one FODMAP group I tried that had zero negative effect on me, so the rest are pretty much out unless I want to risk having a flare-up. And these are basically all the foods I ate before.