Well, all of that generous giving I did Saturday night wasn’t without consequence. I went to buy something for myself yesterday, and my card got declined. Turns out the fraud department was very concerned about all of those unusual purchases. 😂 As soon as I logged onto online banking and saw the error message, I knew that was why.
I spent half of today at work (alone in my office, grading) and the other half sleep, so there’s not a whole lot to report. I feel a little out of it to be honest.
However, I have been thinking about paying it forward as a concept since that’s something I’m currently doing. I have been blessed (#blessed, even) in that during this past year, people I love and care about have really helped me out when I needed it. I asked for help with moving expenses (unexpected cross country moves are expensive) and then for travel expenses for my aunt’s funeral. And every single time, so many people chipped in.
Since it would be impossible for me to pay them all back, I have decided to instead pay it forward. When I see that someone else is asking for help, if I’m able, I give something. This includes my friend’s Facebook fundraisers or their own unexpected expenses for health care. Or even if they post a link on behalf of a friend or family member. I really think it’s the least I can do to repay all the kindness that I have received.
I am grateful for acceptance because it lets me look at a problem full on and see what my options are for solving it.
I am grateful for acceptance because it keeps me from indulging in the what-ifs and should-have-beens.
Acceptance keeps me in the present.
Yesterday, after I balanced my checkbook and used the envelope system to allocate money for gas and food, I had to accept the fact that I had no disposable income.
This was after I finally accepted (again) that I have a lot of debt and need to live within my means.
Accepting that I had no disposable income meant that I couldn’t go see either Hidden Figures or Get Out, or do, well, anything else extra really. Before I would have been depressed or sad. But now I can say, “This is your situation right now. If you want more any disposable income, you know what you need to do.”
It also meant I had to fully face that I had <$20 for groceries for the next two weeks. And that I should have budgeted before I made a quick run to the grocery store. See, if I had budgeted before, I might have changed what I bought. But I didn’t. So I had to accept that I couldn’t change that decision because it was in the past. I could only focus on what to do next. And because I know using my credit card to buy food won’t help me get out of debt, I had to accept that I was not going to use that as an option.
When my mom reminded me that Farm Share was going to be in our town, I knew it was something I could do to solve my problem about getting food for the next two weeks. I had to accept that I needed help getting food and that help was available.
Acceptance allows me to ask for help, something I used to be unwilling to do.
Acceptance allows me to make the changes I need to live the life I want.
I am grateful for acceptance.
For the Blogging from A to Z Challenge this year, my theme is gratitude. Every day, I am going to post about something I am grateful for. Tune in tomorrow to see what I pick for B.
The Englishist 