Pause. Consider resources before committing. #SOL24

March 2, 2024

When I made my list of resolutions goals for the year, I should have added pause and consider resources before committing or volunteering to do something.

I was reminded of this Thursday when my friend posted on Facebook that she was in San Diego. I texted her to confirm, and she said that she booked a last minute trip to participate in a conference there. I was annoyed that she didn’t tell me but also ecstatic because San Diego is a mere two hours (two and a half in traffic) hours away from me. I had a doctor’s appointment on Friday that I was able to reschedule, so I told her that I would drive down to visit with her on Friday since she got out of her conference at noon and had a late flight at 10 p.m. It was the perfect plan.


I forgot a couple few things I have going on that require two resources: time and money. More specifically, my daughter’s birthday is next week, and we’re going to Disneyland After Dark: Disney Channel Nite AND I bought her tickets to see Chicago AND I’m taking her to hot pot for late lunch/early dinner before the show AND we’ll probably go to a bakery to get her cupcake or whatever. One of my good friends ALSO has a birthday next week, so I invited her to hotpot, and I am making her a cake. Not only do these things take time (resource one), they also cost money (resource two). I considered neither of those when I committed to the drive.

Those birthday things that I didn’t think about are a major thing, but I didn’t even consider Saturday (aka today aka the day after I was planning to see my friend),

a day where I have three commitments already:

  • tap (at the ungodly hour of 10 am) (10 am isn’t too early, technically, but I have to wake up between 8-830 to get there which is not a fun time for me, a person whose natural clock rejects any wake up time prior to 9 am)
  • book club
  • game night

Between the three events I probably won’t get back home until way after 10 p.m. (resource one: time), which means I would have had exactly zero energy to do any of those things if I took a four-hour roundtrip drive to San Diego. And because I’m going to be gone all day, that means I’ll have to buy food out in the world (resource two: money).

And that’s not even counting Sunday! On Sunday, I have to pick up my daughter from the airport (time), am meeting a friend for coffee (time and money), and then have my writing group (time).

prof brown slice of life

Slice of Life is a writing community hosted by Two Writing Teachers.

(Also, am I the only person who either has absolutely nothing going on during the weekend or three million? I swear there is no in between.)

On top of all that, I had to sit down last night and fill out my ballot (time). And I haven’t even started on my taxes (time and also more money)!

So I had to text my friend back and tell her I wouldn’t be able to make it. My exact words were “got too excited, accidentally double booked/overextended.” I try to be careful not to do this, but when it comes to the possibility of seeing or spending time with my friends, I often volunteer as tribute before thinking things all the way through. I had a friend on FB post a couple of times about wanting to go to a show in Vegas or some other such thing, and I piped in every time and say I could/wanted to go. I had another friend ask to make dinner plans with me this month, and I was like, “Of course, let’s go next week!”  But then I wound up having to message both later and say, “Oops, my bad. I didn’t actually check to see if I could before I responded.”

As a general rule, I do not like changing plans, but I hate it even more when it’s because my desire to hang out moves faster than the part of my brain that needs to slow down and consider things. So, yeah, I’m going to be working on that going forward.

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  1. Sherri Spelic

    When you know, you know. I appreciate the way you list out the various forms of commitments that would be disturbed/derailed/made more difficult by traveling to San Diego. It’s never a bad idea to take stock of our habits and see where we might be able to do better. Best of luck as you adjust them.

    • Akilah

      Lists help me a lot. Even looking at the calendar made it feel like there was time because of the white space there.

      And thank you!

  2. tbro

    Yes! We so often forget how limited our resource of time is. Hope all your other plans were/are fun!

    • Akilah

      Thank you! I had a good time, but I would have been a hot mess if I hadn’t pulled back.


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