I have decided that while I am on medical leave to get my hernia repaired, I am officially in my Victorian rest cure era. By which I mean, I am going to enjoy the privileges of being bed- and homebound the few days after my surgery by sighing dramatically and staring out the window.

I have gotten a lot of practice since I found out today I have to give up my online class as well.

If only I had a seaside to sit by. Or room for a chaise longue! Alas, I do not.

In all seriousness, I am trying to find ways to introduce whimsy into this experience. I named my hernia Hilary, inspired by this iconic exchange from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air:

Hilary: I can’t stand the sight of his mole!
Will: You’re making a mountain out of a mole, Hil!

Hilary the Hernia is 2 cm and has created a mountain in various areas of my life, so it seems fitting.

Also, after doing an internet search and asking some friends who’ve had surgery before, I made a wishlist of items for my surgery recovery. And because I can’t make a list without commentary, here is a little of my thought process, though I know most things are self-explanatory.

For the Kindle page turner, I obviously do not want to lift a single finger, so will set up my tripod to hold my Kindle and use the clicker to turn the pages for me.

Since part of my recuperation takes place over Thanksgiving, my friend wants to host dinner so I obviously need the sweet potato pie shirt to be on theme.

All the people across all the land said the bed wedge and extra-long phone cord/charger are necessities. Belly wrap was also highly recommended for abdominal surgery to (a) hold everything in place and (b) reduce pulling/strain on the abdomen. (Did I mention I can’t do Pilates until I am healed? Also, I realized that my water aerobics class is probably more stomach/core intensive than I originally thought so will be skipping it, sigh.)

Wonder Woman robe just because. I mean, come on. Do I need to explain?

Same with the healing candle. Plus, it smells delightful.

Fell asleep reading eye mask/pillow because it delights me. I am embracing whimsy! It’s whimsical!

I need to hydrate, hence the Barbie tumblers. Also: whimsy!

Got Trauma journal makes me laugh because surgery is serious business but is also very traumatic. I don’t know why that’s funny to me–probably the same reason why when I laugh telling stories about my life, people say, “Wow, that’s traumatic.” (Me: IS IT???) Also, it’s a journal.

My mom will be here, but I am an extrovert so will need visitors, which is why they’re on the list. I can only go three days without being around people who don’t live with me. Three days is probably pushing it, to be honest.

I am also taking suggestions for things to add to the list, so please let me know if there’s something I need that isn’t accounted for.

In non-hernia related news, I got some more bad news on October 1, so I am truly trying to find the joy where I can. When I got the news, a friend was with me, and I told her “I’m going to bed” and got in the bed. I honestly couldn’t think of anything else to do, and I am so over bad/sad things happening right now. I also declared October 1 September 31st because I do not want the energy from September carrying over into October at all. Also, October 4 was the one-year anniversary of finding out my dad had stopped responding to cancer treatment. So I am officially declaring this a new year and have declared a moratorium on shitty things happening to me and the people I care about. I’m pretty sure that’s how that works, right?