I went to acupuncture today as I have been doing for the past few weeks for my knee that I tweaked in September and made “very angry,” according to my orthopedist.

I love my acupuncturist. I had this weird thing going on with my hip, and she fixed it. I also went to her for migraine relief when I was still having daily headaches. So what I’m saying is I trust her.

Usually, when I go in, she does the needles, then cupping, and ends with electroacupuncture (though there are no needles that I’m aware of).

Today, she asked me how I was, and I told her my knee still hurts, and she said, “Okay, since you’re still in pain, we’ll do wet cupping. We’ve done that before, right?” And I was like, “Yeah sure, you betcha.” I don’t know why, but I thought she was referring to the electroacupuncture or some other version of it we had done before.

That is not what she was talking about. At all.

So, we do the needles. Fine. She does the regular cupping. Fine. Then, instead of coming back after five minutes, she leaves it for only about two minutes. While the cups are doing their thing, she grabs some of those extra liners she puts behind my head and puts them alongside my knee. So then I’m thinking, “Oh wet cupping. She’s going to pour some water or solution on the cup or on my knee. That’s why she needs the extra sheets.”

She asks if I’m ready. I say yes. And then she STABS ME a bunch of time IN MY KNEE with what feels like A CLUSTER OF NEEDLES.

I am so in shock that I’m just lying there thinking, what in the actual @#$# is going on? And then, after she’s done stabbing me, she does it again! But this time when she’s done, she puts the cups back on my knee says, “Okay see you in five minutes” and then walks out.

To anyone who has never experienced cupping before, let me just tell you that it hurts like a sumbitch and takes some getting used to. So not only am I dealing with a hurt knee, on top of that are the cups, and then the MULTIPLE STABS IN THE PART OF MY KNEE THAT HURTS, and then more cups.

And because I’m me, instead of asking her wtf is going on, I wait until she leaves and then Google wet cupping.

In wet cupping, your therapist first creates a mild suction by leaving a cup on your back for about 3 minutes. They remove the cup and use a small scalpel to make light, tiny cuts on your skin. Next, they do a second suction to draw out a small quantity of blood. They might leave those cups in place for 10-15 minutes. — WebMD

After reading that I said, “Yeah, clearly we have never done THAT before.”

And then my appointment continued on as normal.